Emotional Nomad

In this place the landscape is alive. When I say alive I don’t mean animated but merely metaphorically personified. The landscape is the focal point here.

I find myself travelling internally, leaving my vessel where it may be and my mind travels somewhere else in search.

The desert. Black sky, white sand, black torn shawl and I’m walking with my head down. I want to be by myself, the air is clean and cool but there is nothing but space and sky. If not here, then I’m walking through the snow. The snow is waist high but I can’t feel the cold. The wind blows fierce yet I’m able to keep pushing on. I’m miniscule in comparison with  the landscapes I traverse.

Iam a traveler. A mystic seeking something but not believing in it’s existence. Self defeat lives here. It follows me.

Here I feel as if I’ve disconnected in hopes of being plugged back in. Understanding that I’m different and do not enjoy the same things as others has been my strength but in times of sadness it has been a crippling weakness. Anger, fear , sadness manifest themselves as watchers of my presence. They wear venetian masks and walk around hidden, revealing themselves only to me. To shield myself from them I engage in their game and use their tactics. I too don a venetian mask and assume the persona of Mifune.

I become stoicism. Anger, fear and sadness can no longer affect me as I’ve become something else. Come and find me if you can.

Reality being subjective, I’ve created this for myself. Why? Is this comfortable for me? I know how I’ll react and move? I laugh at the sky, it’s silly. Will the mask ever come off? Will i ever be able to show my true face ?

I’ve traveled far and wide but where have I gone?

 

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