I tend to picture myself on a beach listening to the waves crashing , feeling the cool breeze blow past my vessel. I am in a sort of stance not belonging to any kind of discipline but one that I’ve created myself.
Thousands upon thousands of question race through my being. I plant myself upon the earth in hopes that she will feel the distress within me and come to my rescue.
The pictures you see above are the ways in which I feel internally. The heaviness, scarcity, fear cause my vessel to morph into a demon. There are times where I catch myself wanting to gather energy into my hands and destroy landscapes because I feel so wound up and full of fear. In those moments Iam blinded by wanting pain to leave me. Causing pain and destruction to alleviate MYSELF of pain, how selfish.
There are beliefs that I have created about myself which do not serve me and I understand that. I become very very selective about who I wish to share this pain with. I am well received by most people I encounter , yet I would not reveal my scars to them. Choke on the pain, my ego says. You want to be strong right? Deal with it. Metamorphosis occurs and I become him. I become someone I’ve looked up to for years.
So much practice has gone into learning of myself,the universe, the world , the soul. Who is this being who has embarked on such an uncertain journey? What are you looking for? Where are you looking for this? Does it exist? Have you mistaken faith for fallacy? Have you become delusional boy? Are you attempting to live the life of another?
I’ve come here to create my own path. Get out of my way!
Hahahaha!! That is grand! What a courageous fool! Bakayarou! Where do you hope to end up? Where has your mind taken you, that you would follow it blindly into oblivion? Have you traveled to the far reaches of your soul? Has pain made you mad? Where oh where , will we end up?! That is the question.
Yare yare. Iam so tired of thinking of the what if’s . Get out of my way!
So you result to force? You can throw as hard as you want, punch ,kick even scratch but if your strikes have no meaning behind them , then how can YOU HIT ANYTHING!! BAKAYAROU!!
*Crying softly* Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
* Falls to my knees*
As long as there is hate in your being, you will never truly move anywhere. Do you fear me?
Bakayarou! I asked you a question! DO YOU FEAR ME?!
Get up. Do not insult the earth with your weakness, STAND.
*The winds blows fiercely*
I commend you for risking your life to stand before me. Not many have stood before me and lived to tell the tale. I will show you how to transform your energy into your ally and not your enemy. You are aware of how to channel your energy I imagine.
Very well, so we can skip the pleasantries. I want you to kill me.
*Quiet as the wind blows, rustling leaves*
It’s either kill or be killed, Unless you want to be consumed by your fear. Whenever you’re ready.
*tightens fist and takes a stance*
I WILL create my own path in life and live successfully!
Then prove it to me!