Define Yourself for us Mr. Walker
I am an urgent, responsible, vulnerable leader and I’m a shinigami.
Not the answer you were looking for?
7/25/2016 Current Day- 8:32am
There is a whirlwind of emotion inside of me currently. I am feeling like Gouki again this morning but then again when am I never feeling like him. There are times where I’d like to punch holes into time and space and allow myself to rage and tear down the world. Who could stop me? Who would? Why stand in my way? What would you gain? Recognition?
I suppose that’d be a terrible goal for me to have, not my style; hurting others.
I retreat into my hole which I have carved into myself. The spectrum will always save my life, it was there from which I was reborn and so it is my home away from home. If you can’t follow what I’m talking about but continue to read on, bravo. You can put yourself in my shoes if you like, but I should warn you , I walk barefoot and walking in sand all day can be maddening.
I am no stranger to pain, most days I ask for it. Pain helps you to grow especially if you welcome it and allow it to permeate you.
There are times where I sit in complete silence and let the thoughts speak for me. There are times where I believe i am a madman with whom no one can properly communicate. Such respect is given to others because I can hear them and feel them but the link, the vein running back to me is severed. I do not wish to be known some days. What I do is for me most days, People just tend to like it. Where am I truly if not present? Laughter is always present even when I am not. It’s funny.
Am I a sadist or a masochist? I forget, I laugh at thoughts of my own pain because it’s funny. Whenever certain people are in pain, I laugh to myself , at myself. It jogs my memory of a similar experience. You don’t find it funny, I do.
One thing you’ll come to learn of me if you decide to stick around long enough is that I do not care for the trivial things, I probably should but I know these things pass so why should I get all riled up over a pebble when Im looking to conquer the mountain? Do not impress upon me such a miniscule responsibility when it was never mine to begin with.
Searching, tirelessly searching for material things to end the hatred I’ve grown to love. My mask has become sealed to my being, I hate it sometimes. I wish to reveal my face but no one has proven worthy and So the fool, the joker will continue to be what he has agreed to be.
Even now as I scribe this my muscles tense up with boiling fury wanting to punch craters into the earth but she’s done nothing to me. In fact she wants to heal me but I continue to walk away, never fully grounding myself to thee. Perhaps that is what my plight is. Always walking away and never sitting down. The same way none could ever hope to stop me from causing pain to the world , none may save me as well. What an interesting thought. When I was human, I thought to myself ” It would be nice to share this life with someone. Really share the gift of life.” I soon learned I was looking at things through a foggy mirror. I shared my life with myself and others around me. Looking to hone in on one person and share a grandiose adventure such as life with one being, well, that’s impossible. My transition into a death god has proven to me, you must always keep moving. Allow all things to pass and do not try to block the river because you wish to cross only. That is the path of the selfish. Instead , learn to swim so that you may bathe in the ocean and move with it’s current. I forget that from time to time, for I must still hold human tendencies. Forgive me.
*Turns away and wipes away a tear. Back still turned to audience, sits down and lays Scythe down.
Leave me. I wish to speak to Minna in solitude.