I wont lie to you, alot of time I feel as if I’m smarter than most. I’ve trained my mind to believe so. It’s hard not to feel that way sometimes, especially being an observer. Looking at what people react to and how they react is annoying. To me it’s a simple matter of looking at what’s happening and using your senses to come to a decision. For example, if someone hands you something that was confused for someone elses, why be in such a “Oh god” mood about it rather than accept what’s happened and keep it moving. Especially fi you’ve not paid for it.
I’ve put myself in a position of what feels like embarrassment, self defeat, self destruction and fear.
Although on my walk back home I saw the future and what that looked like for me and it involves a position of Humility, Success, Self empowerment and love.
I feel alien most days, I can’t lie. I look around at some people and I think to myself even though we be human, i can’t relate to you. I don’t wanna relate to you. People bring their fears to me and because the mind can be hacked if you’re not careful, they become my fears. I begin to worry myself over ideas that I probably didn’t believe in. My strength dwindles and I think myself weak because I’m unable to live up to an expectation someone else had. I used to think dying was the answer, that if I didn’t have to deal with peoples problems or something as trivial as paying your bills on time. Who the fuck is this person to tell me to pay my bills on time or they are gonna shut my stuff off. Fuck you.
I look at children and I smile at them and I cherish children because they don’t know. They don’t have to face harsh realities that we as “adults” have created. We do all this talking about connecting as one and care for your brother and shit and it does exist, I’ve seen it,witnessed it first hand and felt it. I’ve also seen the opposite end of the spectrum. “Take care of each other” But there’s a price on health. We don’t want to heal, we want to treat. Hilarious. Communication is very important but we’re gonna charge you 1000 dollars for a phone so you can communicate.
Here’s the best part, it comes down to personal “choice” they arent doing anything wrong if you choice to align with that.
Rebellion feels like a dying cause. Especially in relation to capitalism.